Unexpected Outcomes...

Almost two years ago, I went under the tutelage of a great sales person. I learned the basics of investment; I learned how to persuade people; I learned how to take risks; I learned what it meant to be a salesperson.

I learned fast. I sold fast. I closed deals faster than I could make new ones.

I was "promoted" to "Sales Supervisor" within a month.

My "salary" was worth five figures.

I sold RM 200'000 worth of "product".

Then I quit. I lost momentum.

Today, I work as the External Relations Manager for one of the largest student-run organizations in the world. I learn how to lead people; I learn how to work in a team; I learn how to approach people in authority.

Yet, I am struggling to meet the targets that were laid down since the last planning meet. I keep asking for explanations, justifications, excuses. Nothing seems to fit.

Today, I learned that the place I learned my skills from is part of an illegal conglomerate formed to dupe people. I am one of those who got duped. Along with all the people I approached, and all the people I managed to convince. Yet it was in this "company" that I learned what it is like to take risks, and to muster the courage to talk to people. The experiences that I gained from this illegal activity, now, in hindsight, gives me the insight and knowledge that I would not be duped by something similar ever again.


You learn things from the most unexpected sources.

Usual events can have unusual outcomes that shock and surprise you.




*P.s. I am sorry to all those that got "duped" because of me. But please remember that I did not know the reality of what I was doing until much later, and that I am a victim as well.

Blablabla

Almost two months since my last post, been extremely busy lately. not in the mood for long winding prose, so just gonna make this brief.

1. People are idiots. if you sat on a thumb tack for goodness sake stand up and remove it from your ass. Don't keep sitting there complaining about the pain in your ass because you will then become mine. Which means I will have to remove you.

2. I am going to Singapore. As an escort. And hopefully end up with five more days to explore the island ALL BY MYSELF (good luck trying to find enough "free entertainment" to last that long).

3. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to those of my friends celebrating it.

4. I am an INTP. Deal with it. Or not.

5. I hate evaluations. Some of the criteria do not make sense to me.

6. What to do? what to do?

7. Still waiting for change to come. OR maybe I am resisting change. Or I am exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviour.

8. WIll stop jabbering now.

.

Nothing much to say seems to be what I am saying a lot lately. Nothing to say, no opinions, just take it as it comes.

But not today. Today I stood in front (actually besides) the student leaders of USM to voice out what seemed to me to be right.

It is easy to be inspired by some of their oratory skills. They are a large group of highly talented and motivated people. But why is there still an "us and they" mentality cropping up in my head?

Orientalism is really getting to me.

And I am constantly in a bad mood now. not enough sleep. not enough food. wondering when I am going to get my loan money.

Infection of my toenail still not well even after seeing the doctor.

These things contribute to my mood or lack of it these days.

WHY AM I HERE?

Sorry if i snap at you when you talk to me, I am just having a bad month, and I haven't gotten a chance to argue with someone that day.

Debate puts me in my element.

I love debate, the great battle of wits between giants. The wile and wit of the speakers.

I also love being random.

Sigh.

The Best Things in the World

There is a saying: The best things in the world are free. I think so too..

The best gift is one we do not expect, and one we do not deserve.
The best promotion comes as a surprise, not as an expectation.
The results that give the most joy come at the most critical moment, and tuns out for the better despite expectations of failure.
The best food is when you are starving, and suddenly gets a morsel to fill you up.

The best friend is also free, free to hear your problems, free to help you, free to give you a tight slap to remind you, free to urge you to do better.

Oh that all our things become free!

Wo Shi Hua Ren.

For the past few weeks, during the semester break, I have been thrown a few reminders of how linguistically blessed I have been. I have excellent English, very good Bahasa Malaysia, and 9 years of Mandarin Chinese Education. I speak fluent Cantonese. I also know basic French, as well as many words in ancient Latin and Greek. I am also familiar with some Spanish and Italian words.

Many of my friends have expressed their chagrin at not knowing Mandarin Chinese. Some have expressed great regret at not knowing the language, and others have made efforts to learn it.

I must say that I have not been entirely appreciative of the opportunity that was given to me. I left Sam Tet Secondary after my PMR to avoid taking the Mandarin Chinese Paper for my SPM. My grades for Chinese was never excellent, and I have trouble remembering some of the idioms of Chinese.

I have lost contact with the language for so long that it was not until university that I regained contact with it. Even then, it was not as one who is meeting an old friend. I failed to recognize the richness and depth of the language till now.

I should be more appreciative of the language and culture that I was born into. Just a month ago someone commented that I have lost touch with my own culture, not even celebrating beyond the obvious Chinese New Year. I needed to buy an English book on Chinese Culture to read about these festivals and events!! And I also tried to read Romance of the Three Kingdoms in English! I have read Shakespeare and Milton in their own language but cannot even read the great literary works of my own culture in its natural form!

Maybe instead of running around with other languages, I should re-fortify my knowledge of the Chinese Language, not only as an added advantage in this challenging world (let's face it, how many people with a Chinese education background have excellent English to go with it?) but also as a means to understand and appreciate my own heritage and culture. I am not being a racist here but I strongly believe that racial acceptance includes accepting each others cultural diversity and heritage.

So if any of you reading this has any questions concerning the language, please ask. There is nothing better in learning than to teach. You will be helping me as well as yourselves.

Why?

Why am I here?

Even though this sounds deeply philosophical, and can take days, if not a whole lifetime to answer, I can see this as a way to re-discover what the big picture is.

I am here because I want to make a difference.

I want to make a difference because it matters to me.

It matters to me because I believe in its ideals.

Because I want to change.

Because I want to learn, not only to win, but also to fail honorably.

Because life is too short to waste away, and too fragile to take for granted.

Because I want to develop myself through developing others.

Because I want to make the world a better place to live in.

Because I want to make a meaningful impact in the lives of others.

Because I am here.

Finally

After a long deliberate decision making time (which included a few other people), I have decided to minor in Drama and Theatre. The decision may yet change, but at the moment I have registered this in my course list.

I have also decided to take up French level 2... Most people would expect this I suppose.

Anyways, am at UKM now for LCPM and NATCON, and won't be back till next week. Till then,.....