Have I been here before.

It has been a long time since my last blog post. Much has happened since then. I have missed deadlines, greeted farewell to friends, and estranged others. I have been disappointed more than once. I have learned that you need to let go of things that will hold you back. Things that will corrupt you. People who, if you go out with too often, will lead only to pain and suffering.

People are sometimes too fickle. They say one thing but mean another, they promise one thing but do another, they preach but do not practice, they talk the talk but do not walk the walk.

I sometimes wonder, am I just the same as that, do I do a lot of talking but do not commit any action? But then again, what else is there to do but talk sometimes?

I have prided myself in being to let go. I am always the first to let go, the last to turn back. No, I never turn back. Or so I hope. It has happened again and again. The removal of the familiar. The new intimidation looming ahead with no safety but your own raw courage stirring within, urging you to go on, to stand tall in the face of adversity.

But standing here right now, is more intimidating than usual. I need to let go, but before that, I need to do something drastic. Is it a good deed? Will it be something I will regret?

It's what Tina and I call smoking. (not me, I don't smoke at all).

Fiddlesticks and fortitude.

I love the concept of turning back time. I just don't think it's practical.

Am I being too mean? Too kind? Too impervious? I don't really know anymore.

Should I stop trying?

Is this the end?

What will life be?

I know.

It will be as it was supposed to be.

The theory of parallel universes come to mind.

Ah, you need to be in my head to understand.

I have a lot else to say, but it won't be in this post.

Of Talentime and whatnot.

Thus with that, I publish this sad post.